Life's panorama

To 'Be'

2011-09-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

sometimes it may,
love to 'Be'.
sometimes it may,
hurt to 'Be'.
Wonder, it may,
to 'Be' or not to 'Be'
Realize, it will,
it 'Is', to 'Be'.

Diwali main andhera

2009-10-17T17:57:00.000-07:00

Har ghar diwali aur ek ghar andhera
bas yeh badnaseebi ki woh ghar tha mera

wahan fuljhari patake chudhana
yahan ghamon se bhar diye jalana

wahan yaaron mein mithai bhi bati
yahan apnon ki badhhai tak nahin

wahan goonje ullas-e-harsh ki awaaz
yahan tanha shayar aur ek tanha saaz

wahan naye varsh main nayee shuruaat

yahan karte alvida saal-e-aabaad

maujon ki baarish se nadiyan jo ufni
rishtey bhi doobe kashtiyan bhi doobein

wahan nadiyan milti, bharate samandar
yahan akela dweep, samandar ke andar.

Har ghar diwali aur ek ghar andhera
bas yeh badnaseebi ki woh ghar tha mera...

Happy Diwali.

2009-10-13T12:21:00.001-07:00

what matters the most
won't 'matter' that much
when I get 'there',
as then there would be more

then matter why it should,
this 'more' as such
when I know I am 'here'
and 'a moment' is all I can hold.

what if whole universe
is a closed system
and the randomness can only
'transfer' and not grow.

are the stars going away
or it's my sense of space
that just got sharper
from "the earth is flat!"

-"did god really create the universe?"
-"depends if it is initial condition problem or boundary condition problem!"
-"what if it's both?"
-"you ask too much!"

the trees happily existed
even before the monkeys did
well, it depends what you want,
run and bleed or stay and breathe?

do I live life,
or the life lives through me?
may be both
or may be none!

2008-09-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

And then we never rise
above the dark clouds of hypocracy,
faking dictatorship,
with what we name democracy.

spending lives
mending the borders and walls,
skin for paper,
coloring these small dark halls.

For the name of one god,
keep fighting for which one it is!
in the struggle for union
its just the unity we miss.

We hold meetings,
to mingle cultures of everyone,
but they just meet their people
and ofcourse none.

Hey, so you an Indian as well?
Oh, so you an Spanish as too!
We are black- white hundred or million..
and we just anything other than one....

For Tol (Saurabh)

2008-02-05T01:31:00.000-08:00

To Dearest Tol,

It was an evening of 9^th January 2008 when I just turned twenty three and I was told that you were no more. I was astonished within myself, realizing the fragility of our lives that we almost take for granted. Since then I wanted to write to you and offer a eulogy. Tonight on February 5^th when I look at the radium stickers, one of danger sign and the other of skeleton, that I took from your cupboard door and placed on mine as a remembrance, they once again remind me of your existence and of little time I shared with you. With this, I would want to write whatever little I know about you.

Tol was the nick given to you by someone. When I think of you, the clearest of all the images is the one in which you were sitting on corridor floor with your right leg folded in vertical plane, knee to your shoulder level, left leg stretched straight on floor, left hand hanging down and mildly supported from ground, right hand resting over right knee and mildly holding a fag. You smoked very rarely, I know, but you always tried to observe the smoke and the contoured patterns it formed.

You were dedicated to anything you did. You could pursue the regularity in gym which most of us always failed. This obviously was the reason for your body builder physique, certainly healthiest among all of us. I remember always envying that whenever you passed by the corridor heading for a shower after gym, I have always loved to pull your leg then.

Modesty and calmness and seriousness was embedded in your soul. Anything could hardly shake the poise of temperament you held, all it could give you was just a bit more seriousness. I remember one evening I threw your cycle key from Hijjad’s room to ground floor while I was only pretending to throw but the key just slipped! You still did not shout but just very seriously asked to get it back, as you had classes in morning. Being dark we couldn’t find the key but in morning you did that by yourself.

How could I forget the music we shared? The Bob Dylan’s song “It ain’t me Babe”, that I would sing borrowing your or Drafter’s guitar and sitting in front of your room, you would ask me which song it is and search for it on DC++ and finally try to play it by yourself. You would keep trying hard to play guitar and ofcourse you did succeed to an extent. I remember your voice, and a couple of songs you sang.

You were a wonderful person, friend, brother, neighbor and junior to me. You died of brain fever unexpectedly and it was unfortunate for all of us to have lost you. Death has always been a mystery and so has been the life. You crossed the thin line between life and death for which this disease was the medium. The room number 321 where you used to sleep now sleeps in silence under the blanket being woven with the cobweb threads. I pray to god on behalf of everyone, who felt your existence, that wherever you are, you are in peace as you had always been in.

Wish I had you

2008-02-02T01:58:00.000-08:00

In this musky - dusky darkness
In this cozy cozy cold
with these mushy gushy feelings
when I want someone to hold
And I just wish........
that I....
had you........
Oh my babe, I wish I had you.

When I walk down the streets,
tearing the fog apart.
when the midnight silence speaks
and just a couple of dogs bark
I just wish.......
that I........
had you...
Oh my babe, I wish I had you.

Nostalgia, flowing in my veins,
times pass by,but their shadows still remain
when i walk the same roads again
when the winter is same
and so is the rain,
I just wish........
that I......
had you...
and I just wish my babe,
that I had you.

(10/11/07)

adhoorapan

2008-02-02T01:49:00.000-08:00

Tere bina yeh daastan
reh jaati adhoori
jaane kaise poori ho
meelon si yeh doori
oo..oo..........oooo

tere bina ae zindagi
kya jiyun main yeh bata de
oooo..oooo

chahta bas yehi chahat
koi chahat to uthe
so rahe armaanon main
koi armaan to jage

jism kyu hai band aakhir
saanson ki bandagi main
pal raha hai ek kaafir
is jahaan ki gandagi main

jaane kyu likhne baitha
yeh adhoori daastan
laakh chaahun par jise main
khatm na kar paunga

khatm ho jayengi saansen
band ho jayegi dhadkan
par tujhe ae zindagi
poora kahan jee paunga....
(10/11/07)

AAWAZ

2008-02-02T01:09:00.000-08:00

Aawaz (one lame song that i wrote)

Aaj phir yeh hawayen, kyun hai thamti nazar aayen
aaj phir aanchal nahin lehraye kyu?
Saaz jinki aawazen thirakti theen aangan main
baithe chup khamosh se gumsum hain kyu?

thamti rehti hain hawayen uska kya gam,
jharne karte kal kal kal hardam.
saazon ki parwah kise hai jab tak hai dam,
dil main karti dhak dhak dhak dhadkan.

patjhadon main jo patte gire to kya,
jad abhi bhi yaar mere baaki.
raat jo harpal karwat badalti ho
pyari si ik lori sun le saathi.

Stand for yourself

2007-09-07T00:38:00.001-07:00

This song I indite
In pain when I lie.
No, no it’s not you.
Oh nay, not me too.
Anyway, how does it matter?
When it’s me, who’s to be shattered.
I find myself broken,
All the self is almost shaken.

I’m sure, you must have had it,
You try it hard, but never get it.
You know, you have fought like Spartan
But finale, you fail and you fall. (and you’re wan)
It’s abject woes, where you land.
You just ponder, what justice meant.
The immaculate canvass is all stained.
You’re decrepit, you can never stand.

But my friend, you must give another look
With your own self, you must hook.
Tell the world, who the hell are you to judge.
I stand for myself and I give you a fuck.

nothing

2007-06-07T01:36:00.000-07:00

It’s a life unreal

Banking upon the compromises

Why am I even writing today, may be just because I dint write for long.

May be because I am not liking the music, the sketches, the nature, the poems, the sports,

May be because I am not liking anything anymore. So to just see if there lasts still any desire, talent or whatever in me for writing infact for expressing for that matter. And I find a ‘No’.

So leave it.

12th oct 06

2006-10-12T11:58:00.000-07:00

finally sang the own comp.
without any preparation,
without following any beats,
with just some notes in mind,
rest all on the spot.
I am Happy.

kaagaz ki daastan

2006-09-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

Barson ke baad,hui tumse baat

tum popchh baithe ki main kaun hun

shakhs tha koi,jab tum the mere saath

ab kaun jane ki main kaun hun.

kagaz pe likh di dastan tune,

gham aur khushi, lamhe soone,

Gham ki talim,mohabbat ke nagme,

Saare sapne, saare sapne, saare sadme

Darj karke mujh par sab,
jaane kyu pehchane na ab!

shakhs tha koi, jab tum the mere saath

ab kaun jane ki main kaun hun.

Main kagaz hun, aur tum ho wo haath

jisne kheenchi mere jism pe daraar

Bhar di daraaron main, mere khoon ki dawaat

Aur khatm hui tumhari daastan e pyar

Kagaz par likhte hue tune socha kabhi

Kagaz ki daastan kagaz likhe kahan?

Main kagaz hun, jahan bhi likhoon,

Who bhi main hi hun

main hi hun,

main hi hun…

Hibernation of life

2006-09-10T05:13:00.000-07:00

Have seen the wall cry,

Shouting aloud to freely fly

Have shone like the sun

And I have never been none

Have been an island

Surrounded by waters

Have been a friend

Of birds and flowers.

But this time I broke the bonds

Entangled in chains of nothingness

Stopped thinking and singing songs

No depressions no happiness

Wondering every hour

Where am I heading to

Or just sitting on the junction

Walking no road

If am not living ,

Then am I just waiting to die……………

sketches

2006-09-10T05:03:00.000-07:00

sketches

2006-09-10T04:45:00.000-07:00

Transition

2006-05-17T05:54:00.000-07:00

1st yr. entered IIT

2nd Yr.

3rd yr.

3rd yr. "I Have Become Comfortably Numb."

4th yr : coming back to life.

Masterpiece (till date)

2006-05-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

Cant think of any title

2006-04-21T22:43:00.000-07:00

Just a glance through the glass
attracts them to enter the colorful room,
they knock upon my door,
I open it,
they sit here for sometime,
but realize,
the colours are all fading away
and silence endures.
the next moment,
i am left alone,
the colors left alone,
and the silence left alone.
I bolt the door,slowly,
Once Again..

The Second Hand Guitar

2006-01-20T19:42:00.000-08:00

The second hand guitar

Am nothing but a second hand guitar.

Rusted strings;

Termites find a delightful home,
in the musty warmth of my sounding hole.
A sounding hole that can’t sound no more.
Dark cracks in the earthy rosewood;
Black dirt embraces the copper frets,
And gently chokes the pale plastic bridge.

Resting in a forgotten corner of my room;
Head delicately balanced on the moldy wall,
An equilibrium none too stable for sure.

I filled my room with art and colors
to make up for the music
that lived here once.

In the end
Truth unchanged,
“These colors can never take over the silence.”
The colors are all fading away
Silence alone endures....

Raining moments

2006-01-20T18:59:00.000-08:00

It seems to me that
the raindrops falling on other side of my window
are nothing but just moments ...

Present - when they lie in my field of view...

Past - when they cross the window and are soaked in my small garden ...

Future - when these soaked drops evaporate and rain and cross my window again.

My friend NIsheeth's modifications:

Nothing to do but
Watch raindrops ticking away
Desultorily

A moment cleaves
Memories, infinities
Precariously

Puddles have secrets
Drawn furtively, nostalgic
Albums for stains

Sun now, finally
Tree leaves sing colors
Tomorrow comes

About me...

2005-05-17T04:44:00.000-07:00

"....A rolling stone with an aching heart...
A river stream on a rocky mountain.....
Fighting - resting and again fighting the reflections of life and decisions of fate..
Unperturbed in the midst of madness and desolation of the outer world..
This is how i'll roll till the heart turns feelingless
And saturated from the desires,pain and pleasures....
This is how i'll flow until i reach that plain,
Where i ll be a calm river and will be prepared to
Silently admit myself into the Ocean Divine....."

2005-03-21T22:58:00.000-08:00

Posted by Hello

2005-03-21T22:54:00.000-08:00

trekking in Tada(sorry eyes closed)
Posted by Hello

2005-03-21T22:52:00.000-08:00

singing a floyd song ..
Posted by Hello

..........................Silence....

2005-03-07T02:10:00.000-08:00

Be silent for this life.
Speak a word next time.
If next time you get the luck
If next time you get a single chance.

Com’on thou tiny lonely soul.
Don’t make these unheard sounds.
Come down to the graveyard.
Dig it up deep n deep
N deeper n deeper.
N bury your tears in this depth
N bury yourself into this silence.

I asked you not to shout
Still you made that loud noise
Which had to mingle in this dirty air,
Which had to vanish one day or another.

Don’t you know, you weren’t supposed to speak,
When everyone else is shouting so loud.
Shouting aloud all those senseless words.
Dint I tell you, don’t dare speak!

For this time you are forgiven,
But next time you don’t even try..

Now com’on thou tiny lonely soul,
Don’t make those unheard sounds.
Come down to the graveyard
And bury yourself into the silence.

And just be here till that day,
That one single day,
When you’ll get your
One single chance
To Burst Out..

Nishant (20.11.04)

………..Am I just waiting to die!!!

2005-03-07T01:57:00.000-08:00

“Just killing an age.....
the age that will never come back again..”

Sometimes stifled,sometimes myself,I stultify.
Sometimes I fly into the sky.
I love to fly very high.
And hope everyone else loves that too.
And I know even I loved it too..
That was the time when I was strong,calm n’ never blue.
I was a placid child embellished with those desires...
The desires that were very high.
But now when I find a mirror
and when I gaze with my eyes
into the depth of my eyes,
I find them dim and apart,
I feel them closed and wet,
I see them open and dry.
Then I think when I can think,
tears make them wet,
but an emptiness of desires
makes them dry.

Before I am drowned completely into this ocean that’s dry,
Then I think when I can think,

"If I’m not living then am I just waiting to die ???”

Life's panorama

To 'Be'

sometimes it may,love to 'Be'.sometimes it may,hurt to 'Be'.Wonder, it may, to 'Be' or not to 'Be'Realize, it will,it 'Is', to 'Be'.

Diwali main andhera

For Tol (Saurabh)

Wish I had you

adhoorapan

AAWAZ

Stand for yourself

nothing

12th oct 06

kaagaz ki daastan

Hibernation of life

sketches

sketches

Transition

Masterpiece (till date)

Cant think of any title

The Second Hand Guitar

Raining moments

About me...

..........................Silence....

………..Am I just waiting to die!!!

sometimes it may,
love to 'Be'.
sometimes it may,
hurt to 'Be'.
Wonder, it may,
to 'Be' or not to 'Be'
Realize, it will,
it 'Is', to 'Be'.